Beloved Guru ji,
I wish to be pardoned for taking a very absorbing conversation on a different path. But I can’t help asking this question.
I have been married for over a decade. I wish to know the various manifestations of love in a man wife- relationship. I wish to reiterate the importance of a spiritual basis for such relationships to thrive and grow. Do highlight methods to dispel feelings of stagnation, boredom and despair that often creep into such relationships in the face of modern day city life.
AD: Sanjay, As people grow old..as they age, with time their ability to perceive change starts diminishing. This happens because their observation becomes dull and superficial. The observation gets weak as they are getting filled with information. With so much stored information in their mind they look around and always see.. what is familiar to them. In other words they are able to see only what they have trained themselves to see. This constant repetition and fading enthusiasm in life gradually makes them dead. Although they may still be doing everything what a person would do when alive but in fact they are dead by now. Dead because they are living yet they are depleted of life. They become just repititions.
I have heard a nice story. Mulla Nasaruddin had two sons. Both of these boys were studying in a nearby school. The elder son was only one year senior to the yonger one. One fine day his younger son returned from school and asked his father, Mulla to help him in his homework assignment given by English teacher. The assignment was to write an essay on “My Dog”. Mulla dictated some thirty odd sentences on this subject and in about half an hour it was done. The assignment was complete.
The next day when younger son reached school and showed his workbook to his teacher teacher was almost crazy to read that. She was completely taken aback. She exclaimed “You have copied it!! It is exactly the same essay what you elder brother wrote last year. Not a single comma or full stop is different in this.. .. Not a single sentence.. from beginning till end word to word it is same.. it is just like carbon copy of that essay! ”
But the boy insisted persistently that he did not copy till his teacher gave up. The teacher lost the battle as most of teachers do. Children win and this child too won. Although the child won the situation but internally he was feeling surprised on how come this could be a copy. His father had dictated it afresh. He came back and demanded explanation from his father.
Mulla’s son asked “Abba, you have dictated me an essay which my teacher says is exactly the same as Bhaijaan (elder brother) wrote last year. Did you dictated the same essay to Bhaijaan last year? My teacher caught me on this saying it is copy!”
Mulla realized that he has been caught red handed but he was a clever man, exactly the same way as each one of us thinks and feels about ourselves. He came up with an answer immediately. “This is NOT copy. Tomorrow when you go to school tell your teacher that it is not copy.. in fact the dog is still the same. And when Dog is still the same how come an essay be different. ”
Its not a joke for me. It is truth. When dog is the same how can there be different essays. The dog did not change and thus logically essay remains the same. (laughs)
But this is the problem with every person I see around. They are unable to see any change outside and thus their life becomes dead, monotonous and repetitive. The god remains the same.. there was possibility of seeing God in Dog but that needs awareness. People continue to think the same way. They tell the same story every time.. word by word. They are stagnated. They are repetitive. This monotony and repetitiveness causes virtual death and these dead people continue to operate in this world like programmed robots.. interacting with other robots. And do you think robots can crack jokes? Or can they laugh? Can robots feel so much happiness that they can be seen dancing? Do robots smile when they meet other one? But yes, they can be programed to smile when they greet or detect some new robote is around. Can you identify some of robots around you?
The ritual of passing smile when you meet each other is quite genetically programmed in your DNA. As I can think of… Millions of years ago when population of primitive man was very low and it would have been so that for days altogether one primate would not have been able to see other one.. the creature of same specie. The encounters with fellow human beings were rare and brought happiness due to sense of security and joy of seeing another human form after so long. This joy made them happy inside and I am sure they would have smiled. Even today when a child is born the first emotion she reflects is pain or suffering and the next is smile. Smile is by product of happiness which emanates from the process of seeing your reflection in front of you. The process of recognizing yourself is full of joy. Be it in front of mirror or seeing a person like you in front of you. Isn’t it?
In fact you come in this world programmed to smile. You come here with potential to dance, sing and be joyous but the information which is fed to you since your childhood not only starts erasing the natural “happiness program” but the moment it is erased you are given an anti-program “the boredom program”. You forget smiling and come to a stage where you are in constant state of boredom. And the “acquired knowledge and loss of thirst to learn” is the platform on which this “boredom program” runs..
Sanjay, what is happening to you is nothing unique. It is normal. Since you have allowed yourself to get anti-programmed you are feeling boredom. This boredom will get reflected in every domain of your life. The world is changing every moment. Saying that only change is there.. there is no world would be better. But despite living amidst the ocean of change you are failing to see the change. The reason for all sorts of boredom is loss of awareness.
Enough for today?